Ashman is down with HFMD…

…and as a result his mummy was so tired + sleep deprivation + bodyache + pinggang lenguh2 cam nak patah…

Last Wednesday he was down with fever, so mummy took a day off. Bila dah petang fever dah surut (even 6 hours later after taking paracetamol), so I assume he’s getting better, the next day boley antar daycare la la la la la la…Little that I knew that was only the beginning….

Around 8pm, suddenly I realised his hands ada blisters. Aiikk… I have been taking care of him the whole day, takkan laa tak perasan b4 this. Suddenly terpk the Hand Feet Mouth Disease (coz baru jer borak ngan zura about that during raya) , terus call Abg Arif  (my bro-in law cum plastic surgeon specialist who live at the same road). He dropped by and confirmed memang HFMD, suggested to bring him to pediatrician tomorrow morning. Our boy tak nampak uncomfortable at all so we all not that worry.  Again, little that I knew that was only the beginning….

My boy sleep normally around 10.00pm and woke up for his supper at midnight. Nurse him as usual suddenly dia menjerit! meraung! mengamuk! dan semua word yg synonym dengannya…

We suspected dlm mulut dia dah start naik blister (earlier malam tu tak suspect this will happen coz masa google IMAGE HFMD the mouth blister tu mcm kat area luar mulut jer…).  

Cuba dukung2 pujuk dia..still nangis teresak esak. But he really really wanted to nurse, (I think he wants to comfort himself). Again, bila kasik my bo*bs, mengamuk lagik!!!  Oh my….

Akhirnya tertidur kepenatan tapi still bunyi teresak esak sakit. Amat amat kesian I really felt helpless. Then he woke up again at 2.00am. This time is worse than before. I think he had sore throat as well coz bila dia telan air liur jer menjerit lagik! (the internet pun ckp one of the symptoms is sore throat). He cried and cried and cried. I told hubby I really worried he’ll get dehydrated coz tak dpt minum susu and air mata dok mengalir keluar jer plus penat meronta lagik…

Try fed him water. Lucky he learned already to drink from normal glass. Memula taknak minum. I really worried he’ll get dehydrated. My mind racing fast try to recall what are the symptoms of dehydration and dok pk where I put his Prudential Medical Card in case apa apa jadik…

Later agaknya dia dahaga sangat baru lah dia minum. Then we tried heated my EBM and feed through glass as well. He sipped a bit, and terus minum sampai habis 4oz! He felt asleep at 4am (imagine 2 jam nangis sambil mummy dukung, daddy dukung mmg taknak). Akhirnya tertidur sambil tengok Baby Einstein OLD MACDONALD HAD A FARM (Saje try pasang tak sangka dia leka pulak nengok all those animals at the farm).

Then again and again dia bangun nangis and tertidur lagik…At one point I felt so sakit badan rasa nak patah pinggang rasa mcm nak pergi jer Emergency but hubby reluctant coz the last time we went to Emergency the doctor langsung tak pegang ashman, langsung tak friendly. Memang pun I myself tak favor pergi Emergency tu tapi rasa mcm dah tak larat dah…Hubby asked me to be patience for a few more hours…

At around 7.30am, our baby woke up again but this time tak nangis. He looked at me and smile :). I was very surprised. Baby is wonderfully strong. He actually gives me strength. He then played with me pekapoo behind the pillow like there’s nothing to worry about. Like he’s telling me that not to  worry mummy, I’m okay.”

We brought him to his pediatrician – Klinik Kanak Kanak Ong at Ampang Point (the doctor really good, both of us memang suka his advices). The next 2 days I took Emergency Leave to take care of him (lucky my sister is around to help).

Ashman then getting better and better (perhaps due to the medicine given to sooth the ulcer), but night time were hard – agak meragam and cranky, maybe at night time dia dah penat dan badan tak selesa.

Now he’s okay already cuma masih tak boley pergi daycare (kena kuarantin at least 1 week) so hubby pulak cuti taking care of him.

This was the first time we experienced he can’t drink direct from me, amat kesian coz can see his face longing for it. Now I can imagine kalau I sakit warded ke and unable to breastfeed camnelah kan…apa pun, alhamdulilah he’s getting better now.

On a different note, dah nampak 2 more teeth belah atas yeayy!!! and he can now stand steadily (more than 50 seconds) sambil main remote control astro or main my handphone, siap bukak GPRS lagik. Learning to take steps, boleylah jalan dua langkah tapi lepas tu jatuh. Tak lama dah anak mummy nak jalan nie;)

Tata for now.

*I’ve finally exported all entries from year 2002-2004. So now nak start year 2005. An interesting year coz it was the year I changed job and we got married;)


Flashback malam minggu…

I usually go to bed late only during the weekend (late in my book nowadays meaning beyond 10pm).  Thus that’s the only time for me checking my FB, uploading photos and reading other people blogs (I can’t open blogspot link in the office, tak best kan).

Last saturday while I was uploading some pics in FB (si comel dah tidur nyenyak),  hubby excitedly called me from the living room.

“Ayang, ayang!! Chelsea kalah!!!”

“Ayang, ayang!! Jom tgk highlight Chelsea punyer goal!”

I was reluctant though sebab tengah dok syiok depan pc, anyway highlight esok pun ada especially kalau chelsea kalah lagik laa diulang ulang.  Plus nanti pukul 12 si comel sure bangun for his supper terus tak sempat aku nak surfing2.

“Ayang, tolong amik handphone abang”

I knew what he wanted to do. He surely nak sms all those Chelsea’s fans.  It has become a routine among us to text those who lose. His text said sth like “Lepas nie Man U pulak kalah, pastu Arsenal, biar Liverpool jer menang” ——> statement poyo kan! hehe….

Half an hour later I joined si comel tidur….Entah pukul berapa, I can feel hubby approaching me, to kiss me. I opened my eyes slightly.

“Ayang….liverpool kalah sebab belon”

I am only half awake so I hardly understand what he’s saying. “What?”

“Bacalah soccernet esok…”  (aik…aku pulak yg kena baca…)

I try to clear my mind of what actually happened…“Liverpool kalah ke?”

Hubby just nodded muka sedey giler  dah  selubung dalam selimut.

I can’t help myself to smile. A cheeky smile. Hubby bertambah tensen terus tak jadik nak kiss me.  (What can I do? I’m a true RED DEVIL, even in my sleep? hahaha….)

The next morning baru lah I found out the whole story about the beach ball deflected which as a result Liverpool kalah 1-0 ngan Sunderland. Alaaa….1-0 jer kalau terer score lah lagik sebijik, belon tu pulak yg disalahkan ek. hehehe…end up now they are no. 8 on the league? Woww….tergelincir jauh nampaknya.

As for us, thanx to Aston Villa, we manage to be on the top of the league this week. Tapi beza 1 point jer ngan Chelsea so tak boley nak berlagak wokay. (kalau berlagak karang kena belon pulak kang..hehe).

Other than that balloon incident, our weekend went smoothly well. We attended a few more Deepavali/ Raya open house. Puas hati la makan (I think I’ve gain weight tapi takut lah nak timbang hehe…). Bring si comel to Tumbletots, tapi kali nie towards the end dia cam nangis2 sebab ngantuk.

As usual, after spending weekend with him, I feel so “babysick” (term aku create sendiri meaning aku rindu my baby, acceptable ke? hehe..). Semalam I refrain myself from calling the daycare. Tapi harinie rasa nak call lah. Kalau lah daycare tu kat ofis nie best nyer boley pergi jenguk jap…hmmm…

Catch ya later!

*Below is the snapshot of what frustated my hubby last saturday night…*LOL*


catch Reina catch!

catch Reina catch!



Danielle, the feral child ~ new hope

Last tuesday, balik from my inceif class…biasalah at that hour ashman dah asleep/very sleepy.  When he realised I was there, terus nak nursing. Coz I didn’t want him to wake up (kesian kan..), I mute the tv and searching for channel I can watch without sound. Found Oprah’s show, tapi tinggal lagik 20 min. But that was the only one with subtitle at that time.  So layan jer la…

The topic is about feral child (translated as child with minimal human contact/neglected child).  Aku mcm blur since episode tu dah towards the end kan.  But as I continue watching, I was so shocked!!! It’s basically about this girl, Danielle which was neglected by her mom. Oprah inteviewed her new foster parents, so they described how Danielle’s development is at 6-24 months years old (despite her age of 7 years old).  But the shocking thing to me is that she is perfectly healthy. Tak mentally retarded or autism. The only thing she lacks for the past years (before adopted) was human contact /nurture/love & care.

Tapi sebab rancangan tu dah nak abis, I didn’t get to know what actually happened to the girl in her past. Tak sabar nak cek internet, especially nak tau apa mak kandung dia buat geram tul! Tapi memandangkan ashman on my lap, esok pagi jer laa google.

The next day terus google. Even tak sure apa nama penuhnya but I love how google engine work (just type sket and they will show you top hits), so ada danielle oprah winfrey…enter!

So these are amongst some things that I found out from the net…

  • She was found by a detective in year 2005, when a neighbor reported seeing a girl at a window;
  • She was around 7 years at that time;
  • The house was full with urine and feces, spiderweb, cockroaches everywhere!;
  • There were a pile of dirty diapers in that room must have been 4 feet high, and she was just lying there, surrounded by her own excrement and bugs;
  • She wore diapers, couldn’t feed herself, couldn’t talk.
  • She had never been cared for beyond basic sustenance. Hard as it was to imagine, they doubted she had ever been taken out in the sun, sung to sleep, even hugged or held.
  • The most extraordinary thing about Danielle, was her lack of engagement with people, with anything. “There was no light in her eye, no response or recognition. . . . We saw a little girl who didn’t even respond to hugs or affection.”
  • She didn’t know how to eat, climb a slide or swing on a swing. She didn’t want to be touched.
  • she was born healthy, weighed 7 pounds, 6 ounces. Her Apgar score measuring her health was a 9, nearly perfect.
  • Her true mom is 51 years old, she did not feel guilty at all rather feel victimised;
  • Now she was adopted by Lierow’s couple, and has so far showing great progress. Thank God!
  • The amazing thing is initially the Lierow wanted to adopt a normal daughter, but instead once they saw Dani, their heart are set on her.

Panjang ceritanya lagik so for those who are interested, boleylaa search google about her.  She never see any doctor since she was born, but I think she is protected by angel kan masih hidup…badan dia penuh gigitan serangga! sian tul…

Oprah interviewed doctors about her condition, too. One thing that strucks me is that the doctor said in average parents only communicate with their children 1 minute/day where the rest of the time the children are left with tv & computer. I think this survey is based from U.S, but still!

The doctors also showed MRI of children’s brains that lacking human contact/nurture. The size is smaller and bigger gap between cells. Kesian… Emo betul saya waktu tengok tv tu rasa nak peluk ashman puas2!

So it is proven that love & care from parents are very important. Don’t just rely on your maid, tv or computer. Even though I’m sure not many parents out there is cruel enough to be like Dani’s real mother, but a lot of parents do not realised that the more you engage with your children, the more they gain.  

Okie dokie….got to go. A bit recap about my son who’s turning 10 months this saturday:-

  • Dah pandai main pekaboo (kalau sebelum nie kita yg boo dia, but now dia yg boo kita…he will hide behind wall/door and then jenguk! So cute!)
  • Dah terer baling and sepak bola (belum boley jalan tapi sebok nak sepak bola, so we all kena pegang tangan dia..kalau bola tu golek jauh ikutlaa sekalik mummy nya nie kejar!)
  • Dah pandai berdiri from posisi duduk, vice versa. Dia baru discover agaknya sebab asik berdiri duduk berdiri duduk hehe…


Monday blues

Monday is especially hard. I will keep on thinking about him.

What is he doing?
Kena selsema ke?
Nangis ke?

Pyscho tul lah. I wanted to call the daycare to check him but trying to refrain myself. Nanti the teachers ingat aku nie obsessed pulok, sebab memang selalu gak aku call.

Dah lah last night around 3.30am, he woke up several times nangis jerit taktau sakit apa. Cuba pujuk2, gosok2 while hubby recites some ayat sampailah muka dia kepenatan dan tidur on my lap. Kesian. As a consequence pinggang aku nie memang sakit lah dok tidur ribakan dia.

Hubby and I talked about him last night while watching him sleep (he sleeps in between us). Hubby said something like…

“Mesti nanti kita rindu dia bila dia pergi sekolah asrama, kan?”

Well, of course some people say lambat lagik dah pk benda2 camtu. I guess that’s what parents do:- think ahead & worrying…hehe… plus both of us are well aware of how we ourselves behaved masa teenager (rebellious, quiet, silent treatment, etc). 

On a different note, I’m still in the process of exporting my old entries (yup farina, I do it one by one). So sambil export tu sambil baca; kekadang rasa geli pun ada baca cerita sendiri hehe…zaman muda lah katakan. There are a lot of experiences I can’t remember anymore so bagus gak lah xtvt meng-eksport nie. To remember how I cherished life around me, once.

I especially love to read the part about those pre-schoolers munchkins ~ how they are so honest and genuine. And reading about my long distance relationship-love story, quite embarrassing gak coz mushy2 kan but it goods to realize that we both were into each other. So much in love.

I hope the love sparks continue forever. Walaupun sekarang nie dah kurang mushy2 entry. I guess some people semakin matured (dengan erti kata lain semakin tua) semakin malu nak pour romantic emotional entries, kot? Hehe poyo…Whatever it is, you know I love you so much abg chik! 😉  

 Okie…CIAO for now.

**CSI NY season finale agak gempak kali nie! Geram tak tahan nak tau sapa kena tembak so I pun google lah hehe…

my last entry here…

Dear loyal readers,

Today marked my last entry here at diaryland portal. I’ve started in Dec 2002 ~ so it is around 7 years totaling to 413 entries in total. And it has been a great 7 years.

Reading back my past entries (coz I’m in the midst of exporting all of it), I found out that some entries were stupid and too teenager; yet it reflected my mind at that time – so trying hard not to delete it :). Yet, there were also a lot of meaningful entries.

The 7 years covered my years in U.S (a lot of entries about the Preschool I worked at), some traveling entries, entries about Man United *mestilah kan*, some trivia entries about movies and music, and of course a lot of entries about my husband (my then boyfriend). This year, the topic included motherhood and our darling baby as well.

Thank you diaryland for being a very good host all this while. I have nothing against them; I just need something new for a refresh.

I’ve thought of doing this since early this year but hubby said he only allows it if I move all that 400+ entries with me. That has been delaying my plan. Yet when Yasmin Ahmad passed away, I made my decision to move. *what is the correlation between Yasmin and my move, I will elaborate later as it is another whole story*.

Anyway, I cannot find solution to move my archives automatically; hence I’m in the midst of exporting. I’m targeting to finish it by this year, bear with me.

Thank you for sharing my happiness and sadness, thank you for giving advices and support all throughout this time.

With effect from October 2009, I’ll be blogging from WORDPRESS. Here’s the link:-My New Home

See you there!



 I had a dream last night where my son said ”Mummy, Ashman dah boley cakap sekarang”. Funny!

 In this month’s Reader’s Digest, there was an article about mom and breastfeeding, how the pre-natal class never emphasize to expecting mothers that breastfeeding as natural as it sound is not easy. Hence, when she failed to breasfeed and had to top up his baby with formula, she felt like the worst mother in the world.

 To some extent, what the author wrote is true. In pre-natal class, trainers keep on emphasizing the importance of breastfeeding but never the hardship going thru it.

I (and many moms I supposed) have to discover it through the hard way ~ own experience. During the early month, your body is so tired (from giving birth I suppose) and body ache, yet there is someone latching at you. It can even last for 1 hour! (No one warning me about that, either) . Sometimes your eyes keep on checking the clock to see how long it has been… Your nipples sometimes get sore or cracked, and when that happened, it even becomes more painful when the baby tried to latch.

Nevertheless, you keep on trying your best. Reason number 1 ~ your love for the baby. Reason number 2 is all the importance of breastfeeding mentioned during the pre-natal class/in the book/internet. Amongst the vital one that keep on motivating me is how formula milk can give nutrients, but can’t give immunity. *Why is it called formula at the first place?* I wonder…

Hence, what is outlined during the prenatal classes is important to motivate you. But perhaps the truth also should be enlightened so you will not feel too bad when you are tired of doing it.

Coz now that I read the article I realized similar thing happened to me as well. There were a few nights during my maternity leaves when the baby cried and hubby asked me to nurse him, I felt so reluctant coz I’m so tired and my nipple hurt. Plus didn’t the baby just drink like…10 minutes ago?  How come he wants milk again?  Hubby did not understand why I don’t want to feed my own baby. It does makes me felt worthless and emotional at that time. Like the author said, you can’t relate with the *portrait of the breastfeeding mum with her twin babies* at the hospital’s wall at all.

But expectant mothers, don’t worry. All you need is energy – so make sure you eat well-balance food and plenty of warm water (despite some oldies pantang larang), support from hubby (very important), families, and emotional strength (prayers). Sometimes men don’t really understand *coz they are from Mars, remember*. They give physical support but not the emotional part. So you have to let them know directly what you want. Simple as that.

I myself was not prepared of the whole maternity period either. I guess I did not realize the 2 months break can be very tiring! And out of the 2 months your partner can only be with you 24/7 around 3 days only? Giler…ada company yg tak supportive lagik teruk kasik paternity leave 1 day saja. Ada ka patut…Saya amat tak setuju.

Even though your other family is there, you still need your hubby by your side. Coz the baby belongs to both of you kan. So only you and him can truly understand. I hope one day Malaysia can change that maternity policy = extend to 3 moths, and paternity policy = at least 7 days. Setuju tak?

Plus masa tu I went thru c-sect so lagik sakit badan kot? Nak angkat baby from certain position pun kekadang tak boley and it was quite frustating. Nak kejut hubby tidur lagik satu hal agak payah. Almaklum it was the first time both of us tak cukup tidur after 27 years boleh tidur anytime you want…hehehe…

But don’t worry, after the 2 months…Voila!  The breastfeeding becomes much easier. Then only the word natural kicked in. Both you and your baby jadik semakin hari semakin terer😉. Your partner also began to adapt, much easier nak kejutkan dia malam. Cuit sket terus terbangun😉.

You can say the confinement period is like an ORIENTATION. It is nature way of teaching new mummies and daddies in parenting. For example, now when my baby has cold, he gets all cranky – asik nak berdukung and mummy pun jadik tak cukup tido. I do feel tired, but since I’ve gone thru the so called orientation, I’ve used to it.   

Usually I hate orientation (kalau yang sekolah buat tu), but this one proves very helpful!

**I’m still in the midst of exporting my old entries. Thus the reason the last entry was in year 2003.