intermission – break kejap from study:)

I’ve submitted my homework yeayy!!! But actually nothing to be shouted about as I have exam coming in less than a week. Study wise, of course don’t look quite good. I promised myself to stay up every night but always fall asleep – usually after feeding my little boy. Then I changed my resolution to wake up early – again right after breastfeed coz usually he feeds around 5.30am ++ so perfect timing to study rite? Well, not really. I flipped through my notes and will fall asleep again. Wake up just in time to pray and take my bath to go to work already. Damn.

How come I am so sleepy nowadays? Is it because the irregular sleep hours due to breastfeeding my baby…? Ashman pulak sejak masuk 4 bulan nie bangun malam almost every hour! Dulu dah jarak2 sket, nie tetiba jadik mcm newborn balik. I told hubby Ashman dah jadik baby balik. But he said Ashman memang baby. Hehe…Betul gak kan. Tapi haritu bila hubby babysat Ashman the whole day coz I had seminar, hubby agreed memang dia dah jadik baby balik…sbb asik merengek nak dukung jer hehehe…

Ajar dia pusing macam tak suka, tapi suka sangat bila berdiri. Asik nak melompat aje. Very observance, semua benda dia nak tengok especially benda2 bergerak. We tried our best to bring him jalan2 outside lihat dunia luar with the little time we had. Usually balik kerja dah dekat pukul 7pm so tak boley jalan keluar dah. So every weekend mesti nak bawak dia round – at least ambik angin kat luar. And we tried at least twice a week balik awal. I don’t want my child not to be aware of the world out there.

Another new thing now that he’s 4 months – he has real tears now!. Bila dah nangis dah tangkap leleh leleh sekarang nie. Teresak esak! Manja! Ikut saper ntah hmmm….

Pastu dah suka tengok tv. Dulu2 pasang astro ceria untuk dia tapi some of the cerita tak berapa appropriate so now we all bukak channel TVIQ. Banyak gak cerita bagus utk budak. I bought him his first baby Einstein dvd last week. Heard about it since masa fresh grad dulu (during marketing class kalau tak silap), now dah jadik one of their customer pulak hehe…

And we just discovered he loves to listen to the song Lucky by Jason Mraz tu. Siap gelak gelak lagik. Pelik gak. But we assume that masa pregnant dulu mmg I really love that song selalu pasang dlm kereta ulang2. So dia teringat kot kenangan manis waktu dlm perut dulu? Or he thought that was his mummy + daddy’s voices? Bestnya suara mummy hehehe…

I hope hubby is okay that I have to shift a lot of my attention to the baby now. Yerlah dulu hidup berdua banyak masa spend with each other. Now dah ada yg kecik menjerit jerit selalu kurang laa sket nak bermanja with each other hehehe..But so far hubby has been great. Alhamdulilah. Thanks dear for making my life easier.

Hmm..whatever it is my exam will end on 30th April, just on time for me to celebrate my birthday! Last year tak celebrate sbb morning sickness so this year double bubble celebration laa yek 🙂.

Got to go. I should be studying now… *sigh*


2 minutes break

I’m sitting in front of my pc at 12 midnite. Rarely done nowadays since preggy time. Tapi hari nie kenapa buang tebiat? Sebab homework ku belum siap! Due besok!!! kweng kweng kweng…

Kalau hubby tau aku stop kejap buat homework and tulis blog musti dia marah. Marah ke ek? marah ke? hihihi… (dah agak mengong otak ku sekarang nie sebenarnya). Lagik 5 pages jer lagik nak siapkan…tapi cam liat bebenor. Sekejap2 tgk both my darlings yg lena tidur atas katil. Rasa nak pergi peluk cium my dear ashman tapi karang terjaga pulak. Dia dah lah sekarang nie kurang tidur siang. This whole weekend asik main je dgn we all. Agaknya baby dah besar sket memang mcm tu. Ashman dah masuk 4 bulan sekarang nie.

Last week pergi APSH, terasa sayu bila lalu depan clinic Dr. Haliza. Belum ada pengganti lagi. She is such a human angel, and it is weird that the fact I really missed her as we were only have a patient-doctor relationship. Anyway, ashman dah 6.1kg now. Panjang tak tau berapa, the new paed tak ukur pun. Me and hubby thinking to change to another paed…Inilah susah sebab benchmark tinggi (in comparison with Dr. Haliza).

Football talks, looks like all-english semi la this year champs league. Oh luper pulak..except for one team missed out…hehehe…. hopefully my team can maintain its fitness. Kekadang riso gak sibuk nak bolot banyak sangat piala larat ke…

I’m still thinking what to write on sheri’s tag about my embarassing moments. Seems like I don’t have any? Siap tanya hubby, dia pun tak tau. How mundane and boring my life is? Hmm…

Okey laa sambung wat homework!!! chalos.

Allah Maha Mengetahui

Tiba tiba terasa rindu pada Ashman. This is not the first time, kekadang time buat kerja kat ofis tetiba rasa rindu sesangat! Rasa tak puas peluk cium dia. Even though kekadang dia merengek nak didukung (especially weekend suka merengek maybe sebab tahu parents dia ada), I don’t mind. Akan ku dukung selagi larat. Perhaps sebab last Sunday aku ada seminar the whole day, so kurang satu hari nak main dengan dia! Tu yang rindu sangat tu…

It is amazing how much I love him. His arrival is such a perfect timing to our family. Hubby and I were talking the other day how if only he had arrived earlier we might not be as ready as now, both financially and emotionally.

For instance, how hubby has helped so much in house chores during my pregnancy – siapa sangka ku mabuk teruk sampai hampir tak mampu nak buat apa apa. How hubby also has helped a lot during my confinement, again siapa sangka kena c-sect pulak… How we both went through the long hours at night during the confinement period! Kiranya masa awal2 kawin dulu mungkin tak se-ready sekarang kerana ala2 masih tak berapa matang i.e. tergedik gedik nak enjoy je kweng kweng…

For me to go through the sleepless night, feeding the baby every hour… Sekarang nie terasa seperti sudah expert hua hua… poyo sungguh! Thanks to all the support – my family & friends. My sister who religiously breastfeed her children until almost 2 years old is my main motivator. Thanks to Suria whom suggest the MLO website – which is very useful! I’ve bought their bag pack and ice pack – my companion to work everyday nowadays. The readings provided in the MLO site have also helped me tremendously.

Emotionally we think we are much more ready now. Coz even though the baby physically consume a very small space, he requires full attention and love. He is our first priority now, never second. And I hope will never be…

Although how busy I am, I will remind myself that family is always first. That money can never buy happiness. How tempted I am with money, I will remember those precious moments during the olden days when hubby and I managed to perform jemaah prayer every night. Where he recites zikir while patting my forehead. I think that is valued much more than any kind of handbags or shoes money can buy. Boley compare dengan handbags tu hahaha…sabor jer la.

Hubby and I also talked about how hard it will be for us if we were staying at Bukit Jalil still. Even though the old apartment was very nice, now that we have a child it is very convenient to have your relatives staying nearby. Masa memula dulu nak beli rumah memang agak ragu ragu sebab lokasinya terlalu dekat dengan my mom’s. Takut ala ala takde privacy whatsoever. But rite now we have Ashman, it is very convenient to have my mom and sister within walking distance. Such a superb idea. Bayangkan kalau haritu time Ashman demam kitorang duduk kat B. Jalil macamana la. Nak carik paedtrician clinic lagik…

Kesimpulannya Allah itu Maha Mengetahui and Maha Berkuasa. ~ He knows when we will be ready; what is the best for Ashman. I promise I will give the best I can to the boy. Anak itu amanah dari Allah, and I will do everything I could to take care of him. InsyaAllah…

**On the other note, below is an article appeared in TheStar last week about Dr. Amin (the paed surgeon whom circumsized Ashman) I feel I should share with everyone:

Tuesday April 7, 2009
Dr Amin, a professional and a true friend in need
The death of Dr Amin Tai Abdullah and Dr Haliza Mohd Shafie came as a shock to us, a group of friends who knew them well and had been climbing with them for years.

We were planning a trip to the Lost World of Maliau Basin in Sabah this May. Amin as usual was making his preparations for the climb. He had reminded the team that the trek wouldn’t be easy; with a height of 1,500m to trek.

In the past when we were heading to places like Kilimanjaro, Annapurna and Everest base camps in Nepal, we would go for local preparatory treks in Gunung Datuk, Gunung Nong and Gunung Ledang.

Klangate in Melawati is also a favourate place to train because the place is near and one could complete the trek up and down within two hours. We often joked that we could go up Klangate to see the sunrise at 7am and be in Kuala Lumpur for nasi lemak at 9am. Some parts of Klangate hill has poor telephone reception so sometimes when we are not on call in the hospital, the phones would be left in the car.

One doesn’t need any climbing gear up Klangate hills. Some areas are steep but have ropes in place to help climbers. The most important part of the trek is to go with experienced trekkers and be physically fit.

Amin had been in our trekking team for many years. He was always the organised, careful type with attention to details. He was often the leader and always the pillar of the team; reminding every member of their training, clothing, climbing gears and vaccination etc. The finest quality of all is his caring attitude; always putting others before himself.
When we were up in Kilimanjaro in Tanzania many years ago, a Danish lady doctor in our team was down with severe mountain sickness and had incessant vomiting. While many of us were tired, cold and wrapped up in our tents, Amin walked over to her tent and handed her a cup of warm tea and some medicine and kept her company and encouraged her. Dr Wit recovered, persisted and made the whole journey to Uhuru peak!

That was Amin. A member of Mercy Malaysia, he was the one who would put his private practice aside at short notice and volunteer for any humanitarian aid missions locally and overseas.

He had served in Cambodia, Indonesia and Kosovo even at times when his safety was in peril. To be able to achieve all these, he had a great wife and family who would support him all the way.

Not many people realised that Amin was one of the great surgeon in our surgical circle. When we encountered difficult cases, his help is sought after and he would, at any time of the day, offer his expertise, even for free. His expertise was well recognised and he was a member of the liver transplant based in Singapore. Recently many of our universities were plaqued with resignations of surgical specialists. The Department of Surgery in UPM was badly affected too. Amin volunteered his service as an honourary lecturer and had been actively teaching the medical students for the past two years.

Dr Haliza and her husband Ridzwan trekked with us in Sikkim three or four years ago. Despite her lack of trekking experience, she was never one to give up easily. While I don’t know her that well, her caring attitude and bubbly magnetism impressed me. I have no doubt children and mothers would trust her and love her. The net is full of testimonies for her

Kuala Lumpur.

funny morning moments

Quite busy today. Manager dah ting tong ting tong asking for the draft term sheet I suppose to do. Finally hantar tadik and now has to go through another proposal received last week. At the current time proposal banyak, tapi yg bankable nyer tak berapa aah…what to do ~ with the current economic situation.

Anyway, walaupun busy nak update gak cerita pagi nie. Woke up around 6.00 am to pray Subuh and express milk. Sempat bukak livescore for last night result. Mata agak2 terbeliak tengok result, terus kejut hubby…

“Bang bang…bangun subuh”


“Bang bang…bangun subuh”


“Bang bang…Liverpool kalah”


“Betul ke?”

“Betul, 1-3”

[aku sebenarnya nak gelak besar time tu tapi sebab hubby agak agak mamai tak berani laa pulak].

Aku pun sambung express milk kat ruang tamu (x boley express dlm bilik sbb bila ashman dengar bunyi aku pump dia senang terjaga – hubby cakap sebab dia jeles ada ‘somebody else’ minum susu dia hehe…).

A minute later, hubby walking towards the toilet. Tengok muka aku, tanya sekalik lagik dengan wajah serius…

“Betul ke kalah?”

Chett..betullah buat ape aku nak tipu. Adakah golongan Kops mengandaikan the Blues cikai untuk dikalahkan sampai kalah pun tak percaya? Ingat drogba takdak kaki ke…hehehe

Itulah cerita pagi nie:)

*just found out that no visiting team has ever won at Porto’s soil! mampus…Adakah kita mampu untuk melakar sejarah…hmmm

random April talks

The internet at the office is not working for almost a week already! Tak boley hidup beb lelama takde net. Kengkonon haritu GIT shutdown coz April Fool day ada whatever virus or worm; tapi entah kenapa sampai hari nie tak on balik. Sabar jer la…Nak ber-online kat rumah biasalah kekadang tak sempat. Si kecil sekarang amat manja pantang tau mummy nyer nearby mesti nak ajak baring sebelah 😀

Well, a lot of things nak story since the last time I wrote. Dah tak ingat nak cerita mana satu. Well, firstly about Dr. Haliza. Apparently I read a lot of bloggers had her as their children’s paed and all of them loved her. She was naturally loving to kids, and really passionate of what she does. I felt regret tak sempat nak borak sangat dengan dia – sure dia banyak experience about kids. Antara satu benda yg dia explain bila tanya pasal baby’s poo. Dia kata kalau cair ala ala tepung nak goreng cekodok tu still okay (bagus tak dia describe). For what is worth, I am really grateful our path did cross…

About our boy Ashman – alhamdulilah, he is growing up well. Now me and hubby dah recognize the meaning behind his cries:- “I’m hungry”, “I’m sleepy”, “tolonglah dukung saya” (ini yang paling selalu – manja!) or “please change my diaper” (paling jarang – selalu macam tak kisah diaper dia kotor ~ sabor jer la).

His legs and hands are always on the move now. Susah betul dah nak tukar diaper. Tidur siang pun dah berkurangan, almaklum my mom kata dah jadik budak besar. Tapi memang ikut perangai daddy dia suka berjalan. Pantang bawak berjalan mata bukak luas nak tengok sekeliling. Very excited! Last weekend I bought him a lamaze ~ tina the tiger to give him more stimulation. (dah lama plan nak beli akhirnya dpt gak!)

Malam dia tidur nyenyak alhamdulilah. Of course still bangun menyusu cam biasa but I already get used of it so takde lah penat macam waktu dalam confinement dulu.

Guiltily I have to admit, we have tried to feed him formula (when he reached 3 months a few weeks back) coz my stock susu in the fridge just cukup2 and my mom asik pressure risau takut kalau I pergi outstation macamana…So we all try laa feed dia formula. However Ashman being the smart boy he is totally refused the formula. Terasa seperti ditipu, dengan sepenuh hati dia menangis tak mahu minum even though masa tu dah lapar sangat.

Hence now he is still breastfeeding exclusively thus me religiously will pump at least 15oz milk per day. This includes bangun pepagi during subuh to pump coz at that hour susu banyak rugi tak pump. Inilah yang dikatakan demi anak sanggup buat apa saja. Almaklum dulu saya nie boley dikategorikan sebagai seorang yg kuat tidur (not a ‘morning person’ at all). Alhamdulilah so far the milk supply is sufficient. Takper lah tak lama lagik dia dah 6 months, at that time dah boley makan solid food already. I’ll try my best to upload some more of Ashman’s latest pics in the FB later okie.

Talk about football…hmmm…so 50-50 laa rite now. Defend amat goyah sekalik di waktu ini. Risau betul. My fantasyfootball pun jatuh merudum. Sabar jer la… hopefully Man U can sustain their energy till the end of the season. On a related note, my brother suddenly last weekend kasik Ashman present beg Liverpool!!! Apakah ertinya ini… adakah dia berkomplot dengan hubby? ugghh… I don’t care. Ashman since dlm my tummy lagik supporter Man U! 😀