too good to be true

Last weekend, instead of completing some more tasks in my ‘to do list before the little one arrives’, I did another thing that the book suggest at your nine months:- Rest, Rest, Rest. Of course I managed to accomplish this one smoothly😉.

I truly relax the whole weekend. Managed to qada’ tidur puas puas since malam2 skang dah tak boley tidur (heartburn, muscle cram, gas, etc). Also I had finished watching the whole series of CSI Miami Season 6. I missed a lot of episodes when they aired it at AXN coz masa 1st trimester tu ntah kenapa jadik penakut nak tengok cerita2 macam tu. So now is the time for me to watch all my favorite movies and tv series coz lepas nie taktau laa ada masa ke tak rite… Btw, the season ended with Horatio got shot, but I’m pretty sure he’s not dead. Sajer la tu kasik gempak…

The only chores I did were folding and ironing some clothes whereas hubby helped with all other house chores. He went to market, cut the grass, did laundry, vacuumed the house and prepared lunch. Lately, he’s getting himself into his mom’s interest – gardening. He already planted some mushrooms (not sure exactly the correct term for this type of plant) ~ Do you plant mushroom? weed? whatever the term is lah… Btw we had the mushrooms for lunch which turned out tasty and fresh. Good job love!

We decided to stay in and watched Kungfu Panda at night. (Another movie that I missed during the 1st trimester nauseated period). It has been quite a while since we had a movie night thus it feels nice to just lie down together. Feeling all cozy and safe in hubby’s arm, it just feels so right. I really love such moments, feels like freezing the time so such moments will last forever…

But of course some things are too good to be true. The next day hubby called from office to inform that he had to go outstation again!!! I was overwhelmed with emotion and felt like throwing the phone to the wall! It was the same excuse from the boss; where it’s urgent, no one is available, for the company’s sake, bla bla bla. Ugghhh I hate his boss so much at that moment!

Well, I am a bit mad at hubby as well for not able to persuade his boss. But you can’t be mad at the person you love for a long time. Especially when he is leaving you. I’ve learned from others’ true experiences never to be mad when you are bidding farewell to the person you love. So I am just going to focus my anger to his boss.
Coz the last time the boss said there won’t be anymore outstation, where the last time will be the last time. Tapi nie dah 3 kali cakap the last time nie dah kira tipu nie…

false promise!!!
False hope!!!
I hate it!!!

I don’t feel like behaving right now. Don’t feel like being a supportive wife. I feel like burning his office, or shred all their important papers? Hahaha looks when the devil’s talking…

Hmm…nevertheless……I have to consider the fact that his company is kind enough to cover my maternity cost later (unlike my company yang agak kedekut). At least they are into staff’s welfare. Well…fine, I’ll be supportive. Tak jadik shred papers. 🙂.

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miracle of love

 have trouble sleeping more than before nowadays due to my cram and swollen legs. Previously the cram was only centered at my feet but now it has climbed further up. Turning the body was so difficult like you are half-paralyzed. Added with frequent heartburn I feel like crying sometimes. But I keep on remembering what most moms told me:- that this is the easy part. The hard part will come once the little one arrives. As Dr. Sue claimed, sometimes she feels like putting back her baby in the tummy, haha! This fact ironically becomes a motivation for me to tolerate through the nights.

Plus hubby has been such a gentleman to massage my legs almost every night. The truth be told, he is not an expert massager at all. But surprisingly his touch becomes very soothing and does make me feels 10x better. Perhaps that’s what we called the magic of love, where sincere touch can wipe away pains. Amazingly when he rubbed my tummy the baby seems to stop kicking and goes to sleep as well. Hopefully we’ll get the same result once the baby arrives! *high hopes, huh:)*

Enduring the journey of carrying the little one, I feel I owed so much to my own mom. So much! How she has sacrificed for me and doing it unconditionally. Of course I realized this before but only now I could really grasp what it is all about. Well, in actual fact I had only gone through very small percentage of the whole experiences. I consider myself good enough even if I can accomplish 50% of what my mom has been doing.

To imagine what my mom has gone through makes me really salute her. I think hubby also has the same perspective on his mom now. One plain example:- every morning my mom prepared for me and my sister delicious breakfast to bring to school (that was from kindie until standard 6). Those who know my mom will know her breakfast is not a plain-easy to prepare dish. Mesti either nasi goreng, nasi lemak, mee or mihun goreng. Never just plain bread or even fried nuggets. Zaman tu mana ada duit nak makan nugget pun.

Btw, I still remember my excitement every time I open my tupperware. Kalau my mom punya nasik lemak mesti yg complete with telur rebus, ikan bilis & timun. And imagine now to prepare simple sandwich for hubby’s breakfast pun I’m like struggling and rushing. *sigh*

My mom also tirelessly made roti-canai instant throughout the years for our school tuition money. When we did not have a car, mom had to walk to pasar ampang so that there will be food on our table. Jauh siot! Jalan kaki + bawak grocery yg berat… and me here, angkut barang ke kereta pun dah rasa penat… *sigh again*. I guess that’s the miracle of mom’s unconditional love.

Before you were conceived, I wanted you,
Before you were born, I loved you,
Before you were here an hour I would die for you,
This is the miracle of love…-
– Maureen Hawkins

**We still have not finalized the name for the little hero. Any suggestion?

resolutions flashback

 “Dah lama kita tak main futsal kan,” Hubby said to me this morning in the car.

This made me recalled my NY resolutions for this year. One of the resolutions is to play more futsal. Little that I know what Allah has set for me in the future at that time.

Nevertheless, I think we managed to play 2-3 games together before I discovered that miracle 2 lines on the pee stick. In fact I was already carrying the little one during the last game. Of course I was not aware of that at the moment. No wonder laa haritu terer main semacam je, *perasan siot* hihi… Tapi betul tau, until they all called me ferdinand that day 🙂. Now I know it was actually because this little talented boy inside of me. Emphasize :- Ferdinand okay, NOT Caragher. *wink*

 Anyway, let see what I wrote in this blog for my resolutions this year and the achievement till date:-

1. To read one new book each month (exclude study-related books) – Hmm..does chick lit counts? I read a lot of chick lit these days, especially during my severe nausea. I think the one I was hooked the most are Undomestic Goddess and P.S I Love You.

2. To play futsal twice in a month – As discussed above.

3. To write in this blog every week – Failed miserably during the first trimester.

 4. To drink water 2 bottles a day – Hmm… I don’t think so.

5. To call/write to an old-friend every month – Oh my…I totally forgot about this. Lose a friend this year though 😦. Perhaps that makes this resolution much more crucial.

6. To donate to charity/poor every month – Not even close

7. To recite Quran every day – Again, failed miserably.

8. To reduce 5 kg of my weight – Of course this one can’t be done. Carry forward for next year? Haha…

Still has around 2 months though to strive the above resolutions…

*who do you think will win this season Amazing Race Asia??? Hopefully it’s Ida & Tania!!!

going outstation again!

Mere hours after I wrote the last entry, hubby called to inform that he has to leave for Vietnam that afternoon!!! So much of high hope for him not to travel anymore *uggh*.

I was like “No you can’t” and he said it was urgent, they forgot to send some important documents, the big boss asked him to assist, he was the only one who know the place – Vung Tau (Vietnam’s petroleum hub), it was only for one night, bla bla bla… What should I say? Of course laa kasik die pergi dengan rela hati…

But as it was an unplanned trip, he was quite kelam kabut. Packed his stuff (usually this is my task), exchange currency note, etc etc. As a result, he forgot his phone charger and toiletries. In addition later that evening I found out our car was left unlock, with DBKL’s summon sticking on the windshield. Alahai suamiku yang tercinta ciann dier…

FYI, when he is not around I do not have the courage to stay at home alone. Aku nie ala ala poyo je terer tapi bila malam penakut hehehe… Perhaps this will change when the baby comes. Iyalah ada teman kan…Thus I went to sleepover at my mom’s place across the road.

As usual I find it’s hard to sleep without him by my side. Plus I was worried about him traveling from Ho Chi Minh airport to Vung Tau via taxi, which takes another 3 hours. Usually he takes ferry to go there (much quicker way) tapi dah malam mana laa ada ferry…

Coincidently we had just watched the psycho cab killer episode in CSI NY which made me more restless waiting for him to arrive Vung Tau safely. Thankfully baby being a very good boy somersaulting and kicking throughout the night. I believe it is his way of saying to me not to worry and he is there to accompany me 🙂.

Anyway, alhamdulilah hubby came back last night safely in one piece 🙂. After dinner, he needs to go to office to settle some things so I accompanied him along. This is another thing that I might not be able to do once the baby comes. Unlike some people, I am okay to accompany hubby at the office sambil layan starbucks, magazine and doing artwork. Chewah artwork la kengkonon… I’m not an artist (takde bakat melukis langsung!), but I love to do kids’ artwork – gunting2 and coloring..weird huh. That does explain why I can work at kindergarten though.

Hubby likes it if I tag along (well, I think he does). Not because he is afraid whatsoever but because then I will not call him every half hour asking “lagik berapa minit nak balik?” hihihi…that is so typical me *wink wink*

smooth sailing weekend

I was a bit bored last Thursday in the office as my officemates went out station and was thinking to call a friend. Suddenly I remembered usually at the time like this I will call makyam. I was looking at my handphone, thinking to call her…Just for the sake of dialing. I never dialed her number since that day. Hmm…tapi nanti kalau parents dia yang pegang handphone tu dia ingat aku nie giler la plak.

But I will not delete her name from my handphone. Not for now. It just feels weird to delete. Plus I still keep some of her sms. There was one where she was so excited that we were coming to visit her and there was also one that she wished congratulations to us on the baby. She was amongst the first (other than our relatives) who knew the news.

Although pantang orang2 tua not to blurt out the news at early stage (masa tu baru sebulan lebey), but I just had the urge to tell her at that time. Perhaps to cheer her up a bit. But I never have thought she will not be there when the BIG day comes. I’m such an optimistic fool…

On a different note, we manage to complete a handful of tasks last weekend. We plan to start preparing (some theory called it nesting) bit by bit this month so we will not panic at the later stage. Plus I have started getting bigger and this made it harder for me to move around. We cleaned up the house; wash all the blankets and baby’s clothes, label all the items and hubby made the weekend perfect by cooking for us delicious steamed chicken rice 🙂. Mama even gave a nod on the cooking. That’s very good as my mom is not easy to please when it comes to food.

We also brought baby to swim for the first time 😉 and I managed to finish the latest season of CSI-NY during the weekend. I was overly-afraid during my first trimester (which the book says quite common) hence I missed a lot of episodes. So I get my friend to buy the dvds for me from JB with a cheaper price. Next in line – CSI Miami.

We still have a few tasks to complete by this month. Time-wise, I think we are on-track. I just hope hubby’s boss will not rob him to go out-station anymore for this year though. As long as we are into this together I am sure things will be smooth sailing.

Have a great week ahead!

SMS He Wrote

One of the reasons why I hesitate to change my SGH D500 Samsung handphone (other than it being the gift from hubby for ‘hantaran’) is because of all the sms I have in it as it is stored in the phone memory. I refuse to delete a lot of the sms coz I want to remember the feeling I had when first reading those messages.

For instance there was the sms from hubby wishing me luck on my first day job ever. I was anxious at that time being the first job ever and not knowing anyone hence reading the text helped me to be a bit calmer. Btw, the sms was dated Feb 2004. For Godsake that was more than 4 years ago! Dah lamanya aku nie jadi insan yg bekerja yek. Sudah bukan fresh grad lagik, jangan perasan haha.

There were heart-wrenching sms when he still commuted to and fro Ipoh-KL. He worked at Ipoh for a few months at the early stage of our marriage so jadik weekend husband la. Although we had experienced a long-distance relationship while I studied in U.S, it was still very hard for us to part and bid goodbye everytime he has to leave to Ipoh on Sunday night or early Monday morning.

Well, of course I still hate to embrace goodbyes even now when he has to leave for out-station whatsoever. I will monitor closely his itenary and if he does not text me within the time range I will start getting nervous. Everytime he sms that he has landed at KLIA I feel so relief – such indescribable feeling.

Reading the old sms made me remember the chronology of our marriage life. Where we started at my parent’s house and then move to our first rented house in Bukit Jalil. How we both have changed a few jobs, sharing our anxiety, excitement and frustration on each. I think it is important to remember such memories as when people start to grip success they tend to forget the hardship they went through in the beginning.

Then there were sms when we both fight with each other (apparently the fight part was quite different after you are married – I would say it becomes more emotional and heartbreaking) and then made up (also more emotional) ~ something in the line of what Cecilia Ahern describes in her eminent novel P.S I Love You. Such memories are noteworthy so that we remember the passion and joy in our love.

I guess this is when such short notes can mean so much. At least to me it does.