bored + anxiety

I am less productive nowadays at work. My current project was terminated due to some technicality from the ‘above management’. After that project went sour, my superior has not given me any new projects as I might be gone for long leaves early next year. It’s not her fault though for leaving me out of the picture. As the normal project duration period will take around 6 months, it is for the benefit of the team that I am not too much involved in any new project now. Or else nanti bila pergi cuti susah pulak diorang nak take-over. Plus with the current financial market condition, memang tak banyak new projects pun on our table.

However not being productive does not really suite me. I am the happiest at work when I am working on something. I don’t mind to work long hours as long as I have something fruitful to complete on my desk. I still remember how I quit my first job due to being bore to tears even without security of finding another job just yet. I guess I just have to find a way now to be proactive and help my team here and there where needed.

On the other note, I am full with anxiety now. I keep on worrying whether the baby is okay or not. The book said this is a normal feeling but still I can’t hide my worries. I could break into tears out of nowhere or suddenly wake up in the middle of the night thinking abut the baby. That’s what we called motherhood perhaps. No wonder my mom sampai aku dah besar panjang nie pun semua benda nak worry… now it’s my turn. Rasakan haha.

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