shed a tear

 

Does all women cry easily?

 

No matter how hard I fight it, I always shed a tear whenever someone shout at me. Especially when it comes from ppl that I care about.

 

People has been telling me not to feel bad. Shout not neccessarily means a sign of anger. Well, my mind can acept that. But my heart can’t. I seriously get heartache whenever this happened. And the worst part is, when I feel like crying after someone shout at me, I have no one to talk about it. (because it’s so lame ppl will think I’m so spoilt just to cry over small things).

 

Previously I always cry to my sista. But after a while, we both grow older and I feel stupid to pour problems on her too. Sth like – “there are many bigger problems out there”, rather than to listen to my selfish thoughts.

Previously also, whenever I feel like crying, I can just lay on my bed for hours. Skip my class and call in sick. I remembered the last time someone cheated on me, I didn’t even call the library to inform that I was not coming to work. I just lay in my bed for hours. (later I quit the library job:).

 

But now even though I feel bump, I still have to wake up early to go to work tomorrow. Well, that’s the price of being an adult I guess.

 

Luckily, no matter what your age is, THE ONE will always be there. Ya Allah…berikanlah ketenangan dan kebahagiaan kepadaku & keluargaku. Jauhilah kami dari gangguan syaitan..Amin.

 Nite nite…

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pk pk pk pk…

Dah lama tak tulis. Takde masa & takde idea. Dlm seminggu dua nie busy dgn alumni sekolah aku. Diorang nak buat gathering. Aku pun taktau macamana aku boleh terjebak sama jadik ajk. Kalau boley turn back time, rasa mcm tanak involve je. Bukan sbb banyak kerja, tapi sbb byk benda kena fikir. Siang malam asik terpk. Yerlah..takut anything goes wrong kan….Tapi rasa rasanya dah 50% setel kot. Tak lama lagik tibalah masanya pulak pk nanti nak pakai baju apa ke majlis tu….hehehe…..

Another more important to think about: our wedding. Need to decide on everything. Sesape ade recommendation on any good bridal thing (baju, make up, etc), just shoot. Aku nie susah sket nak buat decision. Sedangkan kalau beli roti dkt Bread Talk pun pusing 3-4 kali. Inikan pulak benda benda macam nie… Well, harapnya everything will be smooth. InsyaAllah.

And another thing: terasa mcm nak tukar kerja. Nak carik yg lebih challenging. Hehe..mcm mcm laa aku nie. Kiranya turning point laa tahun 2005 nie…tgk laa macamana…

*Puas hati Spider menang. Aku mmg suka gilerr lagu tu….
*Gila gila puas hati Man Utd menang weekend haritu. A really great game sbb both teams mmg all-out la…

kawan –> girlfriend –> tunang

Setelah dipujuk rayu oleh si dia, aku pun bersetuju ikut dia ke kenduri sebelah keluarga dia. Aku seboleh bolehnya mmg tak nak pergi. Sbb aku tak biasa berhimpun dlm himpunan sanak saudara yg ramai. Family sebelah aku mmg jarang buat macam tu, kalau buat pun mmg aku tak join. Sbb mmg kitorang tak close sangat.

Plus zaman dulu2 byk laa kes gaduh, i.e. berebut harta, umpat mengumpat, dan sebagainya (perkara biasa dlm keluarga yg besar). Membuatkan aku rasa lebih senang utk tidak involve dlm apa apa hal.

Kalau dah terikat secara sah lain cerita lah kan. Tapi sebab belum terikat lah yg aku jadik malu giler😉. Terasa seperti stranger pun ada, dan takut kalau diorang kata aku sombong ke ape. Tapi demi si dia yg tercinta, ku kumpulkan kekuatan dan pergi jugak. Hehehe….

Anyway, ku tempuhi hari itu dengan jayanya. Semua org senyum saja bila bersalaman dgn aku. “Ini tunang Azizan,” diorang introduce kan sesama diorang. Aku senyum sahaja.

Ironi jugak kan. Kalau sebelum nie time tgh dating and terjumpa dgn sedara, kita akan introduce as “kawan” (walaupun diorang tau maksud di sebalik perkataan kawan tu..ngeh ngeh…kira bahasa sopan laa tu). Sekarang nie gelaran dah bertukar jadik tunang. Perkataan girlfriend seakan akan tak pernah wujud dlm kamus perbualan sesama saudara mara nie. Walaupun hakikatnya jadik girlfriend laa yg paling lama..hehe…(kalau dibandingkan dgn jadik kawan n tunang laa).

Aku ingat walaupun dah kahwin nanti, tetap nak jadik dia punya girlfriend laa….hehe..forever ever laa kiranya…

Btw, semalam tidur dalam keadaan tensen Punah harapan ku yg menggunung utk ke final. Ku berharap panas hingga ke petang, hujan pulak di tengahari . Geram betul. Sabarrrrrr je. Seb baik aku cancel plan pergi Bkt Jalil. Macamana boley kalah nie…diorang guna taktik psychology!!! Ugggghhhh!!!!!!!